ROTFLMAO Tide

With Air Force expected to announce Troy Calhoun as Fisher DeBerry's successor later this afternoon, all open Div I-A coaching spots have been filled except for Central Michigan (who have at least named OC Jeff Quinn as interim coach - a position he may be able to parlay into a promotion with a bowl win over MTSU) and Alabama. Dear 'Bama Boosters, next time you want to ride a coach out of town on the rails, hopefully you'll look back on this experience and realize your beloved alma mater is not, in the parlance of our times, "all that and a bag of chips." The fact that no one wants to take over as the future ex-coach ought to tell you something about how far your program has fallen and how little sway you have in the college football universe. Bear Bryant isn't going to rise from the dead anytime soon (and no matter how good he once was, a zombie coach is still a zombie - do you really want that? Players will have to wear helmets 24/7 to keep Paul from eating their brains), so if you ever convince someone to come onboard, maybe you'd better stick with him for a few years and see what he can actually do. If you fire your next coach after less than 5 years, I promise you, no one will ever agree to coach at your "prestigious" university ever again.