Here we go again

Really Big T((w)elev)en? Really? You want Maryland and Rutgers? Okay, you can have them. They don't add much, and neither the ACC or Big East is losing much. Well, the Big East might be losing its existence as a conference, but that was probably going to happen anyway. I can't believe we're doing this nonsense all over again...

John Swofford, if you're reading this (and I know you're not), here are your 4 options:

1. Replace Maryland - While everyone is clamoring for the ACC to pick up UConn or Louisville, neither is a great academic fit. UConn doesn't add any more NYC eyeballs that Syracuse is likely to do already, they suck at football, and there's little evidence their basketball program will continue to thrive without Jim Calhoun. Plus, how far away from retirement is Geno Auriemma? Of the two options, Louisville makes more sense. Better in football, better in basketball (better than Maryland on both counts). Plus, it actually expands the ACC media footprint into SEC and Big T((w)elev)en+2 territory. Tell me you don't want to see Pitino vs Krzyzewski every single year. However - I have a better, more vindictive solution. Get on the phone with Penn State right this second. Do it. I'll wait right here. You don't think maybe they'd jump for a chance at the fresh start in a new conference after everything they just went through? Superior academically, better tradition and history, still a good fit in the existing ACC footprint, especially after adding Syracuse and Pitt. And I've got to be honest, I know a lot more PSU alumni in the DC-metro area than I do Maryland alumni. Swofford, I'm dead serious, get PSU on the phone right now. Hey Big 10/11/12/14, have fun with Maryland, we're just going to swap you for Penn State. SWOFFORD - MAKE THIS HAPPEN! For what it's worth (apparently nothing), most ACC schools are closer to Louisville and State College than they are to Miami, already an ACC member.
2. Contract - We're already adding Pitt and Syracuse next year. Scheduling is already ugly with 12 teams, now we're adding two more, plus Notre Dame (except only kinda in football)? Nightmare. I suggest you boot Wake or NC State. The ACC already owns Carolina, so what's the point? Wake is too small and NC State is already a useless appendage in Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill. Whoever wins next year's football game gets to stay, loser has to join the Sun Belt.
3. Notre Dame - If Swofford doesn't lean hard on the Irish to commit to a phased-in football membership over the next 5 years, he's an idiot. Adding ND as a full football member brings the league back to the planned 14 (with Pitt and Syracuse). Problem solved.
4. Expand to 16 teams - For the purposes of this segment, I'm assuming Notre Dame is already a full conference member. If 16 team conferences is the direction we're headed, I'd expect a strong push for a playoff structure favoring conference champions of 5-6 major conferences (SEC, Pac, ACC, Big Midwestish, MWC/Big XII merger), which should make independence a distinct disadvantage. Minus Maryland, plus ND, Pitt, and Syracuse makes a full 14 team league again. Then add any two of the following, preferably in this order: Penn State, Louisville, WVU (worth at least asking, right? Again, more WVU alumni in DC than Terps), UConn, USF, Navy, UCF, Army

In my fantasy make-believe world, here's what I think ought to happen, based on current league setups, if the Maryland/Rutgers moves restart realignment and a push into 16 team conferences:
ACC
Boston College
Clemson
Duke
Florida State
Georgia Tech
Maryland
Miami
North Carolina
NC State
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Wake Forest
Notre Dame (IND, sort of)
Syracuse (Big East)
Pittsburgh (Big East)
Penn State (Big 10/11/12/14)
Louisville (Big East)

Big East
[defunct]

Big T((w)elev)en+2 Midwestish
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Michigan
Michigan State
Minnesota
Northwestern
Ohio State
Penn State
Purdue
Wisconsin
Nebraska
Rutgers (Big East)
Maryland (ACC)
Cincinnati (Big East)
Kansas (Big XII)
UConn (Big East)

Big XII
[defunct]

MWC
[defunct]

Big Southish
Kansas State (Big XII)
Iowa State (Big XII)
Texas (Big XII)
Texas Tech (Big XII)
Oklahoma (Big XII)
Oklahoma State (Big XII)
Baylor (Big XII)
TCU (Big XII)
Air Force (MWC)
Wyoming (MWC)
UNLV (MWC)
New Mexico (MWC)
Colorado State (MWC)
San Diego State (MWC)
Fresno State (MWC)
Louisiana Tech (WAC)

Pacific
Arizona
Arizona State
California
Oregon
Oregon State
Stanford
UCLA
USC
Washington
Washington State
Colorado
Utah
Boise State (MWC)
Hawaii (MWC)
Nevada (MWC)
BYU (IND)

SEC
Alabama
Arkansas
Auburn
Florida
Georgia
Kentucky
LSU
Mississippi
Mississippi State
South Carolina
Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Texas A&M
Missouri
Memphis (CUSA)
West Virginia (Big XII)

CUSA
East Carolina
UCF
Southern Miss
Marshall
UAB
Memphis
Houston
Southern Methodist
Tulsa
UTEP
Rice
Tulane
Army (IND)
Navy (IND)
Temple (Big East)
USF (Big East)
UMass (MAC)

MAC
Ohio
Bowling Green
Kent State
Buffalo
Akron
Miami (OH)
Central Michigan
Northern Illinois
Western Michigan
Toledo
Ball State
Eastern Michigan
UMass
Middle Tennessee (Sun Belt)
Western Kentucky (Sun Belt)
15
16

WAC
[defunct]

Sun Belt
Troy
Louisiana-Monroe
Florida Atlantic
Louisiana-Lafayette
Arkansas State
FIU
North Texas
South Alabama
Middle Tennessee
Western Kentucky
UTSA (WAC)
Texas State (WAC)
Utah State (WAC)
San Jose State (WAC)
Idaho (WAC)
New Mexico State (WAC)
15
16


With 124 current teams, that's 6 conferences of 16 and 2 of 14. All conferences are split into 2 divisions and feature conference championship games. Teams play all 6-7 other members of their division, plus 2-3 rotating members from the other division, for a 9 game conference schedule. You could talk me into 3-4 cross-division games (10 total conference games) if you wanted to. That leaves 2-3 out-of-conference games, and no one is allowed to schedule FCS or DII teams. The 8 conference champions get seeded into an 8-team playoff. I'd also settle for a setup similar to the "playoffs" are now (5 major conference champs get autobids, 1 autobid to highest ranked of 3 other conferences, plus 2 at-large, given to highest ranked non-champs from any conference). Games are played at the home field of the better seeded team. The championship is played on a neutral field. While we're at it, cut 30-50% of the existing bowl games and make a true winning record (6-6 doesn't cut it) a mandatory prerequisite. And while we're "realigning" things, we're going to do away with this Atlantic/Coastal and Leaders/Legends nonsense. New rule: your divisions have to be split in a way that makes sense (North/South, East/West, A-M/N-Z, etc).

Counter arguments:

• Geography - Boise State and San Diego State are slated to become Big East members next year (for now, more likely they'll return to the MWC). Louisiana Tech plays in the WAC. A school in the mountains (Colorado) belongs to a conference with Pac(ific) in the title. WVU-Iowa State? Nebraska-Rutgers? Clearly, geography means nothing.
• Tradition - Founding member of the ACC is leaving for another conference. Kansas/Mizzou Border War no longer exists. Texas/A&M game canceled indefinitely. Backyard Brawl no longer a thing. Clearly, tradition means nothing.
• Academics - Please. Conference affiliation has nothing to do with academics. You're telling me that Stanford and Georgia Tech can't collaborate on a research project because they belong to different conferences? Conference commissioners don't care about academics - they care about money. College football and basketball don't care about academics - they care about money. If you want anything more than lipservice, you'd make player GPA and graduation rates part of the ranking systems and weight them equally with on-field performance.
• Player welfare - Already kind of a joke. This and academics are held up as reasons why not to have a true large-format (8-16 teams) playoff, but I'm only talking about 8 teams playing the first week, 4 teams the second, and 2 teams the third week. With current conference championships the first weekend in December, playoffs could be concluded by Jan 1 if you wanted to. It doesn't extend the season, it only adds a couple extra games for a small minority of teams, and at worst, only 1 more game for the finals than the current +1 "playoff" format